But Then I Dream

I don’t understand where she comes from
I cannot comprehend her provenance
She doesn’t exist in the world that I know
I think of her not in the daylight
except for a few hours
after we have parted
She is not a construct of my consicous mind
or a memory given life
But then I dream, and she comes

In the day, my passion, my lust
conjures hair of raven wing black
or possibly auburn
So why is hers so golden
the color of straw in the rain
the color of sunlight in Spring
In the day, my longing
desires women so different from her
So how does she arrive in the night
If dreams are wishes of the mind
she is a wish I don’t remember making
But then I dream, and she comes

I never know where the night may take us
when we meet
What task awaits us
Where will we travel
Who will we be
I never wish for shared adventure
as I close my eyes
as I fall into the darkness alone
But then I dream, and she comes

Will we swim in the salt ocean together
drinking each others company
Will we stand back to back against the darkness
battling demons and monsters
Will we stand beside one another on a platform
looking down at the earth
remembering a time when we used to live there
Most nights, I fight the darkness alone
Her arrival always surprises
The world is a dark and lonely place
until I dream, and she comes

It has been many years now
that we have been meeting, on and off
I have begun to recognize her
to remember her smile
her golden hair
Her face has kindness in it
and also courage
but also sadness
It’s as though she misses me when I am awake
How can this be
Can the dream miss the dreamer
Where does she go when the sun is high
She cannot exist outside my slumbering
but her smile says this is exactly
what she must endure
But then I dream
and I come

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